It’s an old barn I walked into yesterday. A friend, more energy-sensitive than I am, was with me. On our way home she told me she felt a contented, peaceful energy in that barn. It was probably my dad. He’d be content and at peace about this place now.
I grew up here, along with Dad and Mom and seven siblings.
It’s no longer a working dairy farm. Dad passed in 1998. Today, tha barn is home to lots of nesting swallows. Stanchions are gone; only concrete floors, white-washed walls, and glass block windows remain.
A nephew and his wife live here now. They’ve created a flower farm and farm fresh market venue. Yesterday was their first Farm Fresh Market Saturday of tha season and open to tha public. I love what Bryan and Kelly have made, that I get to come here, walk tha grounds, enjoy this space. Of course, I invited friends. As family, I get access to roam a bit more. I have memories and roots here.
I’m glad I grew up there. It’s sacred space and time for me to visit now. I’m grateful for these Saturday opportunities. I feel at peace and blessed, too.
Real farms are a lot of hard work and long hours. There are no days off. You live where you work. You learn things deeply. Anyone who’s grown up on a family farm knows it’s complicated sometimes, especially in a large family, where you’re dad is also your boss / task-master and siblings are co-workers, and everyone has chores and roles and doesn’t always get along. Mom had a sense of humor; Dad not-so-much; and I thrive around positive vibes and a bit of play. So mostly, our dad-daughter relationship was missing those, and we weren’t close, even as adults.
I didn’t know he had a sense of humor until close to his death. The evening after he passed, all eight of us shared Dad stories. They were different, depending on where we were in tha line-up; which version of Dad we experienced. My sister, twenty years younger, had a later-in-life dad who loved her. My brothers, all in between, each had their Dad memories.
For each of us, Dad played a role for our becoming who we are now. For me he brought contrast to gain clarity, a knowing that I would not be happy without a daily dose of humor. An important, powerful sacred-contract soul role.
So, it felt really good to have my friend say she felt a sense of peace and contentment in that barn yesterday.
Feeling peace and blessings… – Anne
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