All things Anne Wondra

coach writer muse cat mom

… and I was dangerously close to accepting a life far less wonderful than I deserved.

Danielle Rhinehart, Eat Pray Love Made Me Do It

What do we deserve?
What do I deserve?
And what is that based on exactly?

I bought a journal and wrote, “I love and I will never leave you” on the first page. …  Eat Pray Love taught me how to devour joy, become devoted to myself, and fall in love with growth. 

Danielle Rhinehart, Eat Pray Love Made Me Do It

Deserving comes down to feeling worthy (and not guilty) of having or receiving our heart’s desires, including love, money, wealth, happiness, self-esteem, loving our whole self fully.

How many of us almost routinely downplay or push away compliments? A co-worker compliments your sense of style; a friend calls you beautiful; a stranger thanks you for a kindness; another notices and compliments your artistic ability. Do we say ‘Thank you’ and accept it? Or is our instinct to deflect it?

When someone receives a generous windfall, are we happy for them? Or is our instinct to complain about their not deserving it?

Like waves of the ocean, what goes out must come back in. What we put out into tha world must come back in.

Our upbringing has jaded our sense of deserving good things, unless we somehow earn or pay for them.

When we were little kids, we believed in Santa and happily, delightfully received and accepted gifts; on birthdays and special occasions sometimes, too. There was no question of deserving them. They were simply given and received without qualifiers or qualms.

When it came to wealth and winnings, though, we often heard messages of complaining and putdowns toward tha winner and receiver of such abundant windfalls, that perhaps that person didn’t deserve it.

What does it mean (to you) to deserve something? To be worthy?

There’s an innate sense of justice in us that recognizes when things are fair and appropriate. If we purchase or work for something, receiving it is honest, fair, and appropriate.

Gifts, though, especially generous ones–or even being extraordinarily paid for what we do–is a bit more uncomfortable and disconcerting. A feeling of not deserving it–because it’s too easy maybe–sneaks in there.

Deserving and worthiness goes back to beliefs about our self; who we believe we are.

What are our beliefs about what determines our worth and worthiness? Is our worth and worthiness something we have to earn? Something conditional? Or, is that not true at all?

Taking all references to numbers out, What do you believe determines your worth and worthiness? And what do you deserve for your self and your life?

Who do you think you are? or Know yourself to be?

When you find solid-ground answers for yourself, ones that are inspiring and soul-deep true for you to own, you’ll feel more sure of yourself, confident, lighter, stronger, freer, happier, healthier.

For some, this is a season of self-reflection and spiritual self-improvement. Others are simply seeking more confidence and a better sense of self-worth and worthiness. It’s tha same solid-ground soul work of finding our own answers, either way. Maybe it’s a conversation starter.

In joy and much love – Anne

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